This is for real!

On Sunday, October 31, 2010 Brian proposed to Stephanie and she said, “Yes!” It is with great joy and gladness that we announce to beloved family and friends that we are engaged!

How We Met

Stephanie moved to Los Angeles in the fall of 2007 to pursue of year of urban mission work with the DOOR program. She moved into the Community House in Hollywood to tutor children in the neighborhood, teach their parents English, and work with the homeless. She also looked forward to leaving Los Angeles when her year was finished. She told herself that she would go to graduate school for Clinical Psychology as soon as the year ended, so there was no chance she would date anyone.

Brian returned home to Los Angeles in the fall of 2007 after a summer at Spruce Lake Wilderness Camp in the Poconos. That summer, he reconsidered his post-grad school self, figuring out how to live a life he was passionate about, including the kind of work he should seek and the qualities he should look for in a wife. This does not mean he was looking for Stephanie. He was actually just looking for a job. The writers’ strike started in Hollywood and the probability of him finding work as a writer/director seemed small (however, he was and is very grateful for the deck-building job he landed back then).

First Presbyterian Church of Hollywood owned the property that Stephanie and her three lovely roommates were living in for their volunteer year, and funny thing, Brian not only attended FPCH, he was serving as an elder on session at the time. Some staff at FPCH discovered that Stephanie and her roommates could sing, and invited them to sing for a service. It was while they were rehearsing for said service that Brian walked into the room in which they were practicing, and introduced himself to the lovely ladies. Stephanie did not notice him very much because, earlier that day, she had sideswiped her parent’s Oldsmobile on an inanimate object. There was a very large gash in their car and she was not sure how to inform them of this.

Over the next few months, Brian helped out at the Community House and invited Stephanie and her roommates to several Hollywood functions. They really did not know many people in Los Angeles, so it was nice to have a welcoming friend those first few weeks.

How to Win Over the Friends

Not only did Brian care for Stephanie, he was equally attentive to her friends. He helped out and loved on the children of Gregory Avenue in Hollywood, attending tutoring times and tried playing basketball with some of the kids. Stephanie noticed that Brian was at ease with some of the more challenging kids. He also brought over the makings for root beer floats for Stephanie and her roommates! He earned friend points taking Stephanie to see Enchanted on their first official date (but do not ask Stephanie about the tortilla soup).

Stephanie was an immediate hit with Brian’s extended family. His nieces and nephews quickly made Stephanie the lead and Brian the supporting cast whenever they visited. The rest of his friends thought she was yet another figment of his imagination as most of them did not meet her until after her year at DOOR ended.

The Plot Thickens

Over many visits to parks in Los Angeles, surprise dates, explorations of art (Dali is creepy), and oral readings of C.S. Lewis, Stephanie realized they had a lot in common. Brian had that figured out after a few dates. Only people meant to be together could sing the Olympic Theme in harmony while driving the treacherous streets of LA. Brian was put at ease about his work situation when Stephanie shared about her family’s struggles through periods of unemployment. They discovered a shared love for cooking, the outdoors, and cooking in the outdoors. Stephanie is growing to appreciate the Dallas Cowboys and the Buffalo Sabres. Brian is still developing his ice skating ankles.

Questions, Questions

Brian took Stephanie to a park for the afternoon on Sunday, October 31. They went to Brand Park in Glendale, where they had their first kiss about two and a half years before. Brian wanted to ask Stephanie to marry him; she wanted to take a nap. The nap didn’t happen as the conversation moved toward the question. Brian showered compliments over Stephanie about the qualities he saw in her and admired about her. Stephanie told him he was putting her on a pedestal. Brian said that was where Stephanie belonged. As Stephanie got up to leave, Brian said, “Speaking of pedestals, this is what it looks like to be on a pedestal.” Brian dropped to one knee and a certain important question was inquired of a surprised Stephanie. After Stephanie said “Yes!” and then “Is this really happening?!” they shared the news with family and some friends before wrapping up the night at Phantom of the Opera. In the room to celebrate with them was Andrew Lloyd Weber and Sarah Brightman . . . or maybe they were just there to close the 18-year national Phantom tour. You decide…

Looking Forward

Stephanie is excited to one day soon recycle, have a compost pile, and till a garden with Brian. She also anticipates her return to academia in the near future. Brian looks forward to continuing his writing, directing, and teaching. Together, they are excited to read through many great books on rainy evenings, and even more excited to read on snowy evenings next to a fire. They look forward to much hiking and adventuring in the great outdoors (but no more getting lost like they did in Sequoia). In their future they foresee chasing after many tennis balls gone astray and potentially learning the Tango. The couple’s first feature screenplay, Miss Connections, is a Romantic Comedy ode to the 405 freeway in Los Angeles and will be available for option in a few months.

What is popular...

Wow! Long time since I have updated you all. I'm attempting to capture more of my thoughts about life in the Southland electronically, so here goes, after more than a year hiatus from blogging:

I have been doing some work for PATH in San Diego for two months, engaging business owners and residents in downtown and assuring them that we will be working with them as we move forward to build a homeless shelter and permanent supportive housing units in downtown San Diego. This has not been an easy process.

Yesterday, I presented to a group and there was one person in particular whose scowl at me was so daunting, I almost didn't make it through the presentation. It's hard when you are the only person in a room of 15 other business leaders, and most of them do not have a reason to like what you or your project represents. My age of 25 probably does not help matters; I seem young, naive, innocent, a bleeding heart...

But that's when I realized, I am not doing this to be well liked or respected. Yes, I want to gain respect for being the hard worker that I am, but the work that I am engaged in right now will not always be popular. I am doing this to aid a portion of the San Diego community right now that has no voice, and no access to services in the immediate area which will see them sheltered on the coldest night.

I remember several of my middle school classrooms having a banner over the blackboards which read: "What is right is not always popular, what is popular is not always right." It is my hope to strive towards the former whenever popular, realizing that the former will probably not give me much money, success, popularity.

I believe this ties into an advent sermon I heard recently about John the Baptist, preaching to "prepare the way of the Lord." He didn't just mean prepare the world, he meant prepare ourselves. One of the ways I am preparing myself this year is through letting go of opinions of others. I'm going to look silly, bumbling and unprepared at many points throughout my life, not just this. But what matters is that I understand my own need for Christ's redemption, my own need for a Savior every day. Who cares who is staring at me? The only person I should care about is the Divine Gazer, watching my struggles, joy, pain, and sin, and saying amidst the many difficulties, "This is my child, whom I love."